Interlude: Can you wear shorts at the Opera?
To skip ahead; yes. You CAN wear shorts to the opera! Unequivocally, YES. There is no dress code for the opera. If you like to dress up, it can be a great opportunity to do so, but it is certainly not required.
SHOULD you wear shorts at the opera? That is another question entirely and it came up recently.
It begins as I step off the train after a late afternoon production of Lucia di Lammermoor in Philadelphia. A little further down the platform I see my friend and workmate Jeff with his wife. This is their first opera. I don’t recall what they were wearing, but knowing them I’m sure they looked lovely.
I was happy to see them because it was me that helped Jeff navigate the website and help choose seats for his first opera. He and his wife clearly enjoyed the performance and I'm glad I got to introduce him to this thing I love so much. On the train we share some small talk but the topic of attire never comes up… It never occurs to me that after I’m gone they’ll be talking down about me for what I wore to the opera.
It was a hot day in Philadelphia and it never even occurred to me not to wear shorts to the opera or anyplace else that day.
Backstory: Jeff is one of my best friends at work. The two of us share lunch with a hilarious roundtable of genuinely likable co-workers. I cherish Jeff and the company of these guys like brothers and teammates. Jay and Ed for example once climbed on stage for an open comedy night with zero preparation to leave a full bar rolling on the floor laughing, that Caribou story is just wrong. Joe is always there with a friendly ear and Rob is supremely likable in his agreeability and we're proud to know a musician who sat in with The Who.
Monday at lunch when I see Jeff I'm expecting maybe a “thanks again”, or “that was awesome,” but instead he mocks me in front of our friends for wearing shorts to yesterdays opera. I'm taken aback at first and that soon followed by being really pissed off.
I do finally cool down (about three years later).
Don’t get me wrong, like me, one of my favorite things about Jeff is that he won’t ever say anything behind your back that he’s not going to say to your face. It’s a code we share and I like a good argument.
Eventually I admit that Jeff is probably not alone in thinking it is either against the rules or not appropriate to wear shorts to the opera. In fact, I bet most people think you shouldn't wear shorts to the opera. My gut reaction is that these people are idiots, but [since most people are idiots] I guess it is a question worthy of further exploration:
Should you wear shorts to the opera?
Again, let's be clear. The opera house itself has no dress code. You are welcome to wear whatever you like, including shorts and even our friend Corky wore a mock Tuxedo-T-Shirt to La Scala in Milan (actually I find that a little disrespectful to them who like to dress up, but if you saw Corky it’s very in stride with his personality and hard to find offense in him).
Dress codes are gatekeepers that judge someone’s look as more important than their character, or worse how they dress is their character. If we're being honest dress codes are a way of excluding 'others' who the empowered deem undesirable by raising their attire up to a moral judgment of right and wrong. It is strategic. History is ripe with examples of authoritarians who have used attire as an excuse to subjugate and disenfranchise other classes and keep them in their place. Dress codes are the antithesis of freedom. There is no wrong way to protect oneself from the elements. Ties and gowns are worn by both angels and devils, and more often by the later.
I'll never forget when an artist friend (who I dearly miss) pointed out during her exhibition that a tie is nothing but a symbolic phallus a man wears around his neck, and more than that an arrow that literally points to his dick (how insecure is that?). Dress codes are power plays.
With these thoughts and memories in mind, still at lunch, I instantly launch into a defense fueled by indignation and a lot of coffee:
“Opera used to be for everyone, but over time the gatekeepers started keeping others out, so much so that both me and Jeff are only just now beginning to enjoy opera much later in life.
What I'm wearing doesn't interfere with your enjoyment of the opera in anyway whatsoever. Unless I'm wearing a big hat what I wear in no way diminishes you or another persons enjoyment of the opera experience. That's the kind of old fashioned snobby thinking that makes art and culture feel so inaccessible to people. It weaponizes art in a way that creates a climate of us's and them's, propers and inpropers. It looks to belittle someone rather than elevate someone. It is the antithesis of arts goal to communicate and connect with others.
Art expresses what it feels like to be human. It's a deep heartfelt communication between artist and audience. What's required is an open heart, one misses the point if they use it in a way to feel above the other humans."
You'll have to imagine fifteen minutes more of above littered with curses. Finally I exhaust my passion and our friend Ed who has been listening patiently interjects.
“Let me ask you this.” He says. “Was there anyone else at the opera wearing shorts?”
The answer, is "no."
For them who like to dress up, the opera can be a wonderful opportunity to do so. In fact, as the culture in America becomes increasingly ever more casual, it might be one one the last places where you won't feel out of place by being dressed up and can enjoy doing so.
On the other hand operas can be four hours long and it makes a lot of sense to dress comfortable.
Recently I asked Chaltin if she would mind if I wore shorts to the opera and she said I could wear whatever I want. When I asked again if she would prefer me to wear shorts or pants - she said pants.
Notes:
*I should have laughed off the shorts comment but, I teach art in a pretty puritanical suburb, so dress codes have always been a sore subject for me.
My first year teaching our principal actually asked me to pull down my sweater to see if I was wearing a tie. Did I mention I teach art!? Our superintendent also visited one day and asked me to tuck in my shirt. Insane, It's not like I'm wearing pajamas and clown shoes or daisy dukes and a tank top or something. I do not comply this time and it gets tense. Fortunately my students arrive like that scene from Indiana Jones when they surround Indie, and it diffuses the situation. My school district is obsessed with dress code. There is a complete double standard with female staff who can wear anything, literally anything they want, and do. The men can also wear a turtle neck and blazer in lieu of a tie to show how dated it all is.
Dress code is a constant conversation in our building. Apparently boys can't learn if they are wearing a hoodie and girls can't learn in leggings. Administrative fashion police pull students off to the side if they don't like what they see. It's so subjective, it's so stupid. Either have a real dress code for student or don't. Life's full of contradictions isn't it. For school I love the idea of a dress code because, like in our larger society, clothes are an indicator of social status and coolness and it leaves poorer students ostracized. Maybe I just don't like that I was teased for wearing 'Bobo's' when I was in school. But, as an artist I love the idea of free expression... I miss the days before opera when I was lifeguarding and all I had to think about was a pair of trunks and sunscreen with the occasional run-in at the supermarket with the ol, "Hey, I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."